The 111 Wussiest Songs of All Time (71 - 62)
| 71. 'Iris' Goo Goo Dolls (1998) Nothing shreds the last ounce of manliness left in your music career like recording a dramatic power ballad set to synthesized violins and placing it on the soundtrack to a Meg Ryan movie . . . right next to Sarah McLachlan, Alanis Morissette and Paula Cole. Listen to 'Iris' | |
| 70. 'Crying in the Chapel' The Orioles (1953) Like the baseball team of the same name, this doo-wop crew hailed from the streets of Baltimore. However, hardball was not these birds' game, as they relied on ladykiller Sonny Til's silky baritone. This churchy weeper was so smooth that Elvis would later cover it. Listen to 'Crying in the Chapel' | |
69. 'You Had Me From Hello' Kenny Chesney (1999)Note to Kenny Chesney: Imitating Tom Cruise is a bad idea. The star-struck country hero wrote this song after watching 'Jerry Maguire,' in which Cruise utters these famous words to Chesney's future bride, Renee Zellweger. As for the marriage, we think the song's chorus lasted longer. Listen to 'You Had Me From Hello' | |
| 68. 'Let Me Hold You' Bow Wow (2005) What's the first thing a young rapper does to assert his manhood? Make a love song, silly! In jacking classic Luther Vandross and enlisting a pubescent Omarion, Bow Wow poked out his bird chest and proved his rhymes could be as sappy as the next man's. Listen to 'Let Me Hold You' | |
| 67. 'Kites Are Fun' The Free Design (1967) Folk singers had a wealth of inspiration in the late '60s: war, race riots, a sexual revolution. Breezy brothers and sister combo Chris, Bruce and Sandy Dedrick preferred to focus on simpler matters. And they sang the truth: Kites are fun. Listen to 'Kites Are Fun' | |
66. 'Burn' Usher (2004)Usher used an entire album to rid himself of the guilt he built up cheating on TLC's Chili -- and sold 11 million copies along the way. But his gutsy 'Confessions' take a turn for the wuss on this track when he cries, "Man I don't know what I'm gonna do without my boo-ooh." Listen to 'Burn' | |
| 65. 'Our House' Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (1970) It opens with flowers in a "vahz" and only gets more precious from there. Written for Joni Mitchell during their period of blissful cohabitation in her Laurel Canyon bungalow, when Graham Nash lapses into all those "la la"s on the bridge, we can't help but hear him mocking himself. Listen to 'Our House' | |
| 64. 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' Stevie Wonder (1984) Stevie, we love you. Really, we do. Therefore, we must be honest: As sweet as an impromptu phone call to express one's feelings is, the ensuing reflection on summer rains and chocolate-covered candy hearts is overkill. Listen to 'I Just Called To Say I Love You' | |
| 63. 'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want' The Smiths (1984) Morrissey's famous moan graced every Smiths song there ever was, but it reached new levels of hopelessness on this shameless plea for affection. Writhing in self-pity and good manners, this tune remains the most castrated song of the modern rock era. Listen to 'Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want' | |
| 62. 'Time in a Bottle' Jim Croce (1973) Waltz time is a direct, foolproof route to wussiness. No, you don't mess around with Jim, the guy who also gave us 'Bad, Bad Leroy Brown,' but he's feeling more than a little fragile here. Listen to 'Time in a Bottle' |
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