The 111 Wussiest Songs of All Time (31 - 22)
| 31. 'Let Her In' John Travolta (1976) Vinnie Barbarino wouldn't be caught dead singing this, and Danny Zuko would probably sucker-punch its love-struck songwriter. "I'm different today," the aspiring singer-actor sang. Different from the characters that made his career, maybe: Here he plays a doormat. Listen to 'Let Her In' | |
| 30. 'Walking on Sunshine' Katrina and the Waves (1983) The title alone could qualify this hopelessly fizzy ditty. Optimism is for suckers! Listen to 'Walking on Sunshine' | |
| 29. 'Muskrat Love' America (1976) Yep, even semi-aquatic rodents got it on in the '70s. In addition to jitterbugging and tangoing, Muskrat Suzie and Sam enjoyed "doing it right" by candlelight. British lightweights America failed to crack the Top 40 with this ditty, but, unfortunately, the Captain & Tennille tried again three years later . . . and squirmed their way to No. 4. Listen to 'Muskrat Love' | |
28. 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' Wham (1984)Maybe it was the way George Michael rhymed "go-go" with "yo-yo." Perhaps it's because he compared the sun to Doris Day -- back when he wasn't openly gay. Whatever the reason, listen between the lines and you'll hear why the Whammer was left sleeping while his partner went out to boogie. Listen to 'Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go' | |
| 27. 'More Than Words' Extreme (1991) After this long-haired Boston foursome failed to hit big with heavy metal, they went straight for the sell-out ballad, complete with the requisite acoustic-guitars-on-stools video. More common at '90s high school dances than spiked punch. Listen to 'More Than Words' | |
| 26. 'Precious and Few' Climax (1972) With their shaggy hair and hip threads, these L.A. boys looked like rockers, but fructose -- not feedback -- poured out of their amps. This, their lone top 10 hit, was so sweet that it would be come a staple for TV commercials . . . alongside kiddies and puppies. Listen to 'Precious and Few' | |
| 25. 'Superman (It's Not Easy)' Five for Fighting (2001) If your band is named for the hockey penalty for brawling, you've got no business feeling sorry for yourself. Listen to 'Superman (It's Not Easy)' | |
| 24. 'All Outta Love' Air Supply (1980) Robbed! That's what these Aussie wussies must feel about the indignity of seeing 23 titles above theirs. And they did everything right: woe-inducing string arrangements, insipid heartsick lyrics, a chorus that repeats itself 9,000 times -- with more and more emotion. Damn, this competition is tough. Listen to 'All Outta Love' | |
23. 'Your Body Is a Wonderland' John Mayer (2001)We know, we know -- he's like, a respected blues guitarist now, right? But let's not forget that this boyish singer-songwriter once broke hearts with breathy, sugar-soaked songs. God knows how he pulled off lyrics like "candy lips and bubblegum toes" without getting a beatdown by boyfriends everywhere. Listen to 'Your Body Is A Wonderland' | |
| 22. 'You Light Up My Life' Debbie Boone (1997) Hey, it's not her fault -- Pat Boone's her dad. With a whopping 10 weeks spent at No. 1, this song falls squarely (and we do mean squarely) in the great tradition of spiritual treacle disguised as secular love songs. Listen to 'You Light Up My Life' |
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