The 111 Wussiest Songs of All Time (111 - 102)
111. 'Do I Make You Proud' Taylor Hicks (2006)We're sure to get hate letters from the Soul Patrol for this one, but silver-haired 'American Idol' winner Hicks totally wussed out with this 100 percent soul-free first single. Blame it on evil 'A.I.' mastermind Simon Cowell -- he forced this ballad on Taylor. Listen to 'Do I Make You Proud' | |
| 110. 'Seasons in the Sun' Terry Jacks (1974) Originally intended for the Beach Boys, Terry Jacks' maudlin adaptation of Jacques Brel's 'Le Moribund' ('The Dying Man') was impossibly cloying and irony free. Ironically, it was also one of Kurt Cobain's favorite songs. Listen to 'Seasons in the Sun' | |
| 109. 'Kiss Me' Sixpence None the Richer (1999) Leigh Nash cooing gooey lyrics like "kiss me beneath the milky twilight" in her Tinkerbelle voice makes a heck of a case for this pop gem. That it appeared on the soundtrack to the equally tepid 'Dawson's Creek' seals the deal. Listen to 'Kiss Me' | |
| 108. 'Wonderful Tonight' Eric Clapton (1977) Eric Clapton's romantic obsession with 'Layla' muse Patti Boyd also begot this quintessential prom theme. If 'Layla' is the sound of unrequited passion, 'Wonderful Tonight' is the sound of a man who has come to the realization that he's whipped. Listen to 'Wonderful Tonight' | |
| 107. 'What Hurts the Most' Rascal Flatts (2006) It's bad enough that lead singer Gary LeVox has a higher vocal range than Shania Twain, but to pair that voice with lyrics about a grown man crying over the one who got away? Now that is wussy. Listen to 'What Hurts the Most' | |
| 106. 'Break Up to Make Up' The Stylistics (1973) In medieval opera, the castrati were the male singers whose voices were kept unnaturally high by virtue of castration. You might wonder about the equipment of Philadelphia's Stylistics, who gave us a remarkable run of falsetto hits including 'You Are Everything,' 'Betcha By Golly, Wow' and this classic tearjerker. Listen to 'Break Up to Make Up' | |
| 105. 'First Day of My Life' Bright Eyes (2005) It's hard for a love song played on an acoustic guitar not to sound wussy. But it's impossible once you add hushed, quivering vocals and lyrics about blankets on the beach. The fact that Connor Oberst has the physique of 12-year-old girl doesn't help either. Listen to 'First Day of My Life' | |
| 104. 'Dancing in the Dark' Bruce Springsteen (1984) If you're Bruce Springsteen, you've done quite well for yourself, thank you very much. If there's a single career moment that still haunts your dreams -- in pastel colors -- it's got to be the 'Flashdance'-era video for this feathery, synthesized blockbuster. | |
103. 'Daydream Believer' The Monkees (1968)It was 1968, so you'd be forgiven for thinking the daydreaming was inspired by some illicit activity. But the Monkees, by then a wildly successful establishment act with a network TV gig to protect, felt obliged to go the squeaky-clean route. The girl's the Homecoming Queen, for cripes' sake. Listen to 'Daydream Believer' | |
| 102. 'People Are People' Depeche Mode (2006) What does make a man hate another man? The heavily moussed boys of Depeche Mode ponder life's big questions on this other-cheek-turning electro popper. Dave Gahan's baritone firmly grabs the verse, but it's offset by Martin Gore's limp-wristed vocals. Listen to 'People Are People' |
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