The 111 Wussiest Songs of All Time (101 - 92)
| 101. 'I'm Into Something Good' Herman's Hermits (1964) These are the same twee chaps who brought us 'There's a Kind of Hush' and 'This Door Swings Both Ways' -- England's harmless answer to those hooligan Beatles. The singer and his girl dance close, he walks her home, she holds his hand . . . and it's impossible to imagine it going any further. Listen to 'I'm Into Something Good' | |
| 100. '(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight' Cutting Crew (1986) These British New Wavers died on the charts shortly after this swooning rocker helped the men of the '80s get in touch with their emotions. Not even Fabio got this mushy. Listen to '(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight' | |
| 99. 'Don't Cry' Guns N' Roses (1991) If you're a sucker for Axl's softer side, Slash's dramatic, shirtless guitar solos and big-budget videos that look really cool but make no sense, then this weeper is the second best song of all time -- next to 'November Rain.' Listen to 'Don't Cry' | |
98. 'Against All Odds' Phil Collins (1984)Apparently, there were a lot of breakups in 1984, as this despondent ode to lost love topped the chart. The song completed one of music's weirder transitions -- Collins, who began as the behind-the-scenes drummer for the once-bizarro prog rock group Genesis, had become a power balladeer, setting the stage for Michael Bolton. Listen to 'Against All Odds' | |
97. 'Butterfly' Weezer (1996)Rock's most endearing geeks went all-out on this acoustic whiner that tells the familiar tale of a guy screwing up a good thing. He's sorry. Really sorry. Rivers Cuomo nails the point by apologizing three consecutive times at the end of the song . . . and emo is born. Listen to 'Butterfly' | |
| 96. 'I'm Not in Love' 10CC (1975) "Big boys don't cry," the whispering voice keeps telling us. They do if they pay too much attention to this ethereal hit from the summer of '75. Her picture still hangs on his wall only to hide a "nasty stain." That's one depressing room. Listen to 'I'm Not in Love' | |
95. 'Hero' Enrique Iglesias (2001)Mock this drippy ballad all you want, but remember this: Iglesias' warbly vocals and icky lyrics helped him land gorgeous Russian tennis player Anna Kournikova. Yep, he's our hero too. Listen to 'Hero' | |
| 94. 'Silly Love Songs' Paul McCartney (1976) Tired of being teased by ex-mate John Lennon that he wrote "Muzak," the cute Beatle struck back with this: a wussy song about the very concept of the wussy song. As this list amply demonstrates, people really haven't had enough of silly love songs. Listen to 'Silly Love Songs' | |
| 93. 'Skyway' Replacements (1987) The most devil-may-care alternative rock band of the '80s was already getting a little doughy when 'Pleased to Meet Me' came out. And on this, the album's little acoustic ditty, Paul Westerberg pretty much became Bread. Listen to 'Skyway' | |
| 92. 'Mandy' Barry Manilow (1974) This first chart hit from the man who would continually reset the bar for pop wussiness was a No. 1 smash. Astonishing stat: 10 of Bar's first 11 hits topped the adult contemporary chart. But for God's sake, somebody kiss the guy already and stop him from shakin'. Listen to 'Mandy' |
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